Couples who have been committed for years may experience a wane in their romantic gestures. When a relationship is fresh, we shuffle around our lives to prioritize our partner, but once the novelty wears off and we go back to our routines, life just seems to happen and we may find ourselves buried, unable to make time for the ones we love most. In these times you need to find ways to create a spark in your relationship.

romanceHaving the element of surprise on your side is a great way to throw that spark back in your love life. It shows your partner you pay attention, and even the smallest gestures, when executed without expectation play a significant role in how you two bond. Don’t wait for birthdays, anniversaries or other special occasions to do something for your significant other. Choose a random day to surprise your partner and get back in romance mode and create a spark in your relationship.

1.) Recreate your first date. Regardless of how cliché your first encounter was, you never forget your first date. Surprise your partner with recreating yours. Take her back to the restaurant where you first met. If the place is no longer in business, cook the same meal. Get a copy of the movie you two went to see along with her favorite candy. Wherever you spent your first moments together, reliving your first moments together will surely give your partner butterflies all over again.

2.) Start a new activity together. If your partner loves to spend time in the kitchen, enroll both of you in a cooking class. If he loves aquariums, why not get SCUBA certified? Restore an old car. Go hiking. Find a new common interest the two of you can enjoy. Whatever you choose, make sure it’s something you will both enjoy and maximize your quality time.

3.) Write love notes. This doesn’t have to be an all out manifesto. Sometimes the short and    sweet notes are the most meaningful. If you travel for work, leave notes in places you   know your partner will find them: under the iron, in the fridge, next to the car keys. Even if you’re not traveling, taking time to leave little personalized notes in his wallet, on his windshield, or on the orange juice carton to let your partner know just how much he is loved.

4.) Run away for a weekend. You don’t have to go far. Maybe get a nice hotel room in another part of the city. Go camping on the outskirts of town. Or if you have the money to, surprise your partner by taking a trip to a coveted location. Getting out of your routine weekend schedules and going some place else will give you the time you need to focus on each other. When you return, you will have a newly rekindled appreciation for each other.

5.) Exchange massages. Giving and receiving massages from is a great way to develop intimacy and relieve stress. Show your partner you care by taking the time to improve his well being; remove physical stress by alleviating pains brought on by work accumulated through work and other activities. Incorporate using oils scented with lavender to maximize the relaxation experience.

 6.) Play hooky on your partner’s off day. Scheduling conflicts can throw a monkey wrench in relationships. She works the day shift. You work nights. He has the Monday through Friday 9-5 and you work weekends. Pick a day you know your partner has off and have an impromptu date. Try the bistro she’s been dying to try around the corner. Pack up and  have a day trip at the beach.

7.) Send flowers/singing telegram/chocolates to work. Nothing says hopeless romantic like sending flowers. For women, sending flowers are generally a no brainer. Of course if your partner is male, flowers might not be the best option. Regardless, the gesture of sending something to your significant other during work hours is a nice surprise that will not only make his day; it will let him know you care.

8.) Clean the house. There are a million other activities you’d probably rather be doing than  cleaning the house. Your partner probably feels the same way. Take some initiative and clean the house for her without her asking. Not only will she be eternally grateful for such a thoughtful gesture, but it will free up more time for you to spend together.

9.) Create a piece of art. Art comes in various shapes, sizes and forms. Surprising your significant other with a personalized creation is a tangible expression of your love. Whether you write a poem, paint on plywood, mosaic a picture frame, or knit a scarf, giving your loved one a personal creation is a meaningful gesture.

10.) Book tickets to a favorite event. If your partner loves musicals, surprise her by booking tickets to the next one to come in town. If he’s a sports enthusiast, take him to his favorite teams game (bonus points for playoffs or a championship). Score awesome seats for one of her favorite bands. Buying tickets to your significant other’s preferred events can sometime be difficult as your tastes in activities may differ, but regardless of where you spend your time, you’ll have a blast together, and your partner will be eternally grateful.   

I have tried and tested these methods before, and find they worked for me. So I hope they can help you create a spark in your relationship too!