It’s been said that “Men are from Mars and Women from Venus”. This is truly the understatement of ALL understatements. Not only is the male of the species worlds apart from the gentler sex in nearly every aspect of how they view life, they also clearly don’t have a clue about how to talk to women. Listed below are 5 tips for communicating with your man which may significantly lower your frustration/stress levels:
- Pick the right time to have a conversation with your significant other. Do not even entertain the idea of having a conversation with him when he first arrives home from work. I didn’t realize how important this was until I first began working outside the home. Male or female, we all need some chill time after a hard day’s work, or even a not so hard day.
- Make sure all his basic needs are met first. You’ve heard all the jokes about what those 2 and only 2 needs are, correct? That’s right, make sure he’s properly fed and pleased with his love life. This is particularly important when you want to discuss things you need your man to agree with you about. Have you ever noticed how the best conversations with your man are immediately following your most intimate moments together? I’m not suggesting a buttering up technique, buy why not take advantage of a good mood?
- Avoid arguments by nipping disagreements in the bud with some serious fact-checking. I LOVE the internet for this very reason. Why get into a heated conversation when you can easily go online and prove your point. Example: He likes to keep the windows open; you like to keep them shut. Go to your electric company’s website to get expert reasons for when you should open and close the windows in order to keep cool/warm and save energy.
- Point out to your guy exactly how a conversation works. Appeal to his sense of logic without being unduly sarcastic. Just kindly remind him that in gentle society, conversations are two-sided with each party getting a chance speak and respond to the issue/question at hand. Men sometimes don’t realize that there isn’t necessarily a bottom line right or wrong, but instead just a matter of opinion. They also like to come to an end, or a fix-it solution to whatever the topic is. Women on the other hand are sometimes more interested in just expressing the different views.
- Encourage your man to clue you in to the subject and make his point with the first 15 words that comes out of his mouth, if he is the one initiating conversation. Women are kind of like men when it comes to getting our attention, albeit for different reasons. We have a million things going on underneath our pretty hairdos. So it has to come across to us as either really important or intensely interesting, in order to shut off the constant multi-tasking of our brains. If we know right off the bat what the subject is, we can follow it and cut to the chase with questions and answers before he has the time to turn it into a mini-series.
As women we need to understand that we will never have the same kinds of meaningful communications with our male partners as we do our best girlfriends. This is as it should be; that being said, there is no reason why our husbands and/or significant others cannot come in as a close second to our female friends. It is truly a special relationship when you can include your partner as one of your best friends.
Byran Smith is the Social Media Coordinator at MyLife.com – an online searching tool designed to help you re-connect with long-lost friends, ex-lovers, childhood friends or coworkers, so you can rekindle the friendships that you have made over time. Search by area code database at MyLife or zip code database at MyLife.