There are countless reasons why couples break up and an almost equal number of reasons why couples get back together after a breakup. Sometimes we just need some time apart to reassess what we’re looking for and realize that we still want the other in our lives.
Other times a mistake has been made and we need time to think about if we want to move past it and continue the relationship, or if we’ll be better off being single. It can be easy to give someone a second chance because we know them and are used to their presence, and the idea of losing them and being alone is a scary thought; but sometimes they’re not worth the effort and it can be difficult to when.
Sadly, cheating partners make up for more than their fair share of breakups. Once that trust is lost it can be impossible to get back which is why so many relationships end after cheating has occurred, and why second, third, or fourth chances end up with the same heartbreak. If your partner has cheated on you, you need to take it for face value and try not to reason or make excuses for the act.
Cheaters do not regard the relationship as a priority and aren’t likely to do so in the future. Can a relationship still work after someone has cheated? Sure they can, but it takes a lot of effort to rebuild the trust that was lost and more often than not the second chance is just putting off the final breakup.
Relationships end every day with no concrete reason, and these types of breakups are the most likely ones to rekindle a relationship. It can be easy to fall back into a relationship that ended amicably, but it’s important to take a critical look at the person, relationship, and previous breakup before giving it a second chance. Take off the rose colored glasses and ask the tough questions. Why did you break up in the first place? What problems did the relationship have before the break up? If nothing has changed all that drastically between now and the breakup, then the same issues are likely to arise and lead to the same outcome.
Plenty of breakups happen after one person gets into legal trouble with an arrest or gets tied up in red tape in some other way. This not only causes embarrassment to the significant other, but also puts added stress on the relationship as the legal process takes its toll. Someone who gets arrested, or falls into bad standing legally, shows that they are not ready to take responsibility for their actions, but sometimes forces are outside of their control and there is more than one side to every story.
With that in mind, it’s important to realize that criminal records stick with a person for life and that if they’ve had one bad run-in with the law there could have been more in the past, and a higher likelihood of more in the future. If you’re thinking about giving them a second chance after a legal issue, consider running a background check on them to see if there is a history of criminal records or legal issues that might show a pattern that you don’t want to be a part of.
There are plenty of times when a second chance on a relationship is worth it and every situation is different. These are merely three (sometimes common) instances where a second chance might not be in your best interest.
Kristen Bright is a blogger in San Diego, currently working with Instant Checkmate who offers arrest record information. Kristen’s favorite place for a first date is walking through the Gaslamp Quarter and people watching over a plate of nachos.