Sometimes, trying to connect with an estranged lover feels like uncharted territory. You don’t quite know what your next move should be, but the fear of losing your ex girlfriend drives you to act anyways. At a fork in the road, it’s necessary to make a choice. Whatever path you choose, no one can take it for you.

We are not provided with wisdom, we must discover it for ourselves, after a journey through the wilderness which no one else can take for us, an effort no one can spare us.” – Marcel Proust

While this is the case, there is no harm in researching everything there is to know about getting your girlfriend back. So common is this endeavor that books have been written on the subject. In addition, the World Wide Web is thus far the only uncensored source of knowledge to those who have Internet access. Of course, care must be taken in filtering out the quality material, before taking advantage of it.

One crucial component of getting your ex girlfriend back, that should be adhered to is the No Contact Rule. It is simple in that it requires refraining from communicating with your ex. This includes by phone, text, email, in person and yes, even Facebook. Simple perhaps, but not necessarily easy. Though the reward of sticking to it is abundantly clear when the woman you love is in your arms once again.

The main objective of no contact is to give you ample time, a standard thirty days, to get yourself in the appropriate mindset for reconnecting with your ex. Rooted in reverse psychology, no contact allows for your ex girlfriend to foster a desire for what would seem she can’t have: You.

Although much of the time will be spent building confidence, another aspect that is important to acknowledge is Compassion. Compassion is defined in the dictionary as a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.

So why might it be important to have compassion when you seek to reunite with your ex girlfriend? Well, because it’s vital that you have compassion for how she suffered during the relationship, and eventually in the aftermath of the relationship. She is hurting too and your intentions should be pure and in her best interest as well as your own. Also, compassion for yourself is a wonderful thing in the face of such adversity. Don’t bring yourself down with guilt and self-loathing and blame. You deserve happiness and love with your ex girlfriend if you are willing to make a conscientious effort to save the relationship.

Compassion is the anti-toxin of the soul: where there is compassion, even the most poisonous impulses remain relatively harmless.” – Eric Hoffer

With this in mind, go forth with your endeavor to be the person you admire and earn the trust and love of the woman that you desire to build a stronger relationship with. May all you do stem from a place of sincerity and ambition. Drawing on the wisdom of Gandhi, I encourage you to Be The Change you wish to see in your relationship.

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