In some situations you see yourself forced to say goodbye to a girl, even though you don’t really want to break up with her, or even though you can’t really break up with her because you have never been in a real relationship.
About one year ago I was in such a situation. During my college time in England I met a wonderful girl with whom I spent a lot of time with, both inside and outside the bedroom. We have never said that we were in a relationship and we knew that this was nothing that would last forever.
After her studies I went back to Germany and she went back to Malaysia. Even though we knew that it wouldn’t last forever, saying goodbye to her was anything but easy. In this article I want to provide you with tips that will help you to do the right thing, in case you will ever experience a similar situation.
Saying goodbye to a girl doesn’t have to end in tears and sorrow. It doesn’t have to be dramatic and painful, even if she might like you a lot. If you say the right words, it can be a goodbye without any drama.
Make Clear that Saying Goodbye is the Right Choice
I know that women tend to be very emotional but you have to make clear that saying goodbye to her is the right choice. In my case this was pretty easy. She knew that it was nearly impossible to maintain a relationship when I could only visit her every couple of months.
It would have been possible if she would have planned to move to Germany, or if I would have planned to move to Malaysia, but we both had completely different goals and plans in life. After I told her on a logical level why it would be stupid to try it, she agreed with me.
What should you do if the girl you are with doesn’t think that saying goodbye is the right decision? What if she is angry at you for leaving her?
Instead of reacting in a negative way, you should show empathy for her situation by allowing her to become angry.
Allow Her to Be Angry at You
No matter if she has a good reason to be angry at you, or if she has absolutely no reason to be angry, let her experience the emotions she wants to experience. Her anger might not even be related to something that you did.
Maybe she can’t cope with the situation and even though she knows on a logical level that this is the right decision, she still feels pain and helplessness when she thinks about losing you. The worst thing you can do in this situation is to blame her for the emotions she goes through.
She might be angry at you and she might even cry. Be a man and show her that you are there for her. Put your arms around her and hold her. Show that you care about her and that the time you spent with her means something to you. Don’t hide your emotions, even when you have to cry while you hold her.
She deserves honest and authentic feelings during the last minutes you have with each other. When you react in this way to her anger, she will soon collect her wits and start to realize that there is no need to be angry at you and that you suffer in the same way as she does.
Don’t Change Your Mind
Now we come to the most important part. I know that it can be hard to see the girl you shared a lot of amazing experiences with crying her eyes out, but you have to stay strong. Don’t make the mistake and back down. Don’t make the mistake and take back what you said, just because you can’t deal with a crying woman in your arm.
It might feel amazing to take back everything you said and to tell her that you don’t really want to say goodbye, but I can promise you that this will cause a lot of drama in the future. At this very moment you might feel as if you could find a way to stay together with her, but the next day you will realize that there is no other way.
What do you do then? Tell her again that you need to say goodbye to each other? Good luck. Now she has a reason to be angry at you. I know from my own experience how tempting it is to say that you don’t really want to say goodbye. However, I also know that this will only lead to confusion, anger and a lot of unnecessary drama.
If you decided that saying goodbye to her is the only thing you can and should do, you also have to go ahead with your plan. Everything else wouldn’t be fair towards her.
Tell Her That the Goodbye isn’t Forever
Even though you shouldn’t take back what you said and even though you should go ahead with your plan to say goodbye to her, this goodbye doesn’t have to be forever. You don’t have to push her out of your life for good. Just because you can’t promise her to stay together with her, doesn’t mean that you are not allowed to see each other again in the future.
You were lovers and as lovers you always have a certain connection. Maybe you see each other again in a couple of years. Then it is on you to decide if you want to light up the flame again or if you want to stay friends.
Saying goodbye to each other doesn’t mean that you have to say goodbye to each other forever. Who knows what the future holds?