This is a gust post submitted by Linda. Please read her details below.
So, you’ve got a hankering for your ex, do you? Many people do. Actually, it’s very common for a break-up to be followed by regret by one or both of the parties involved. Are you that party? Are you hoping that your ex wants you back too, but you don’t know how to go about finding out? Lucky for you that you are reading this article! Get ready for some great advice.
Here are some things you should definitely avoid when you are trying to woo your ex lover. That is, if you don’t want any restraining orders attached to your name:
– Begging is never cute. Forget all of those movies in which the protagonist successfully ingratiates themselves back into the life of their ex. That’s fiction, people! This is real life. And in real life people want partners with backbone, someone they can respect. So if you’re even considering going the groveling route…don’t. It’s unattractive and it’s annoying as hell to the person you’re trying to win over.
– Continued constant contact = humongous no-no. You are not a couple anymore, so texting in the middle of the day for no reason is exasperating to your ex and is just a few feet shy of stalking. The best thing for both people after a breakup is time apart to reflect. Reflection is not-so-reflective when you’re getting messages from your emotional ex, or vice versa. Don’t even get me started on the dangers of drunk-dialing! (Come on, we’ve all done it.)
– Never ever say the following words: “I will do anything…” You should not be giving over your power in the relationship. Relationships are about compromise, equal power. Your relationship can’t be about that if you have none.
Now that we’ve covered some of the things you don’t want to do, let me tell you some things that you could do to put the outcome in your favor. I hope you’re taking notes!
– Instead of thinking that you’ve lost your chance with your ex, think in terms of time spent with them. After most breakups, rebound relationships are bound to happen. It’s human nature. But don’t freak out. Those usually burn out pretty quickly. Center on your knowledge of you ex partner and how you can use that knowledge to woo them back.
– Something a lot of people don’t realize about relationships that have ended is that the reason for the breakup could be totally fixable. So identify what went wrong and see about fixing it! Simple, right?
– Enjoy your life! Socialize with friends and go out. The truth is if your life is not together, a relationship will not work no matter how much you want it to. Would you want to be with someone who is unsociable, lazy, and out of work? No? Well, neither does anyone else. So even though you are mostly feeling down-in-the-dumps (and, maybe, a little desperate), you need to pick yourself up by your bootstraps, dust yourself off, and start living life again. It may not seem like it now, but your world has not ended because your significant other left you.
If you’re like most people, you believe there’s a person out there for everyone. Whether it’s your ex or someone else who ends up making you happy, you need to keep believing that you will be. And everything will work out. So, just keep these tips in mind when you decide that you want to get back the one who got away.
About the Author
Linda writes at the How To Get Your Ex Back, a blog with relationship tips, advice and on everything from how to get your ex boyfriend back or girlfriend.