A new relationship is exciting and it is easy to fall into temptation and have sex before you have gotten a chance to get to know your partner. While there is nothing wrong with having intercourse shortly after meeting, as long as both partners are comfortable, new research is showing that couples who wait to have sex generally have more stable and satisfying relationships.

Does having sex too soon ruin your relationship?

A new study seems to show that couples who engage in sexual intercourse too soon can become stuck in a relationship that might not be right for them. Rushing this important and intimate step in a relationship can interfere with a person’s judgment and good decision making ability. While this may be true, there is also research that shows couples who abstain from sex until after marriage can run the risk of finding out that they are not sexually compatible. This is why it is hard for researchers to decide if having sex too soon really does run the risk of ruining a relationship.

The Intricacies of Sex

Numerous studies have been conducted concerning when it is too soon to have sex, and there are two opposing viewpoints concerning the different findings. Some studies have shown the sexual intercourse is an important step in determining your compatibility with a potential partner. Other researchers have also pointed out that having intercourse too soon can interfere with a couple’s ability to communicate, and to work through any relationship problems. The researchers go on to suggest that when couples wait to have sex they have more time to strengthen their ability to communicate and commit to each other.

No matter which study you feel most comfortable with, knowing when to have sex is a complicated issue. To make it even more difficult to understand are the results from a second study conducted among 300 college students who found that emotions also play a role in determining when it is the right time to have sex. Students who were happy in their relationships believed that having sex helped to build trust and commitment, while those who were having sex in an uncommitted relationship believed that having intercourse was detrimental.

Sex is Occurring Early

Recent surveys and questionnaires have discovered a growing trend in couples having sex early in their relationship. Individuals were placed in different categories that included when they first had sex with their partners and how stable their relationship was. The three categories were,

* Individuals who had intercourse after less than one month of dating.
* Sex later, after one month to two years.
* Couples who waited to have sex until after they were married.

The questionnaire found that couples who waited the longest to have intercourse often had the most stable and satisfying relationships, while those who had sex in the first few weeks were more likely to experience problems. Couples were waited to have intercourse usually were satisfied with their relationship, and normally enjoyed a more stimulating sex life. What was surprising in the questionnaire was that almost 40 percent of the couples admitted to have intercourse after the first or second date. Part of the reason for the high number is due to society’s belief that it is normal and expected of guys.


There is no denying that almost everyone has been tempted to have sex early on in their relationship. The excitement of being with your new partner can cause an increase in sexual desire, and make it difficult to wait. While there have been plenty of studies trying to determine if having sex too early can ruin a relationship, but the right answer actually lies with each individual couple. If you are comfortable with your partner, and you feel like it is the right time there are no rules stating that having sex will ruin your relationship. What you should consider is if you are really ready to have intercourse for more than just pleasure. Part of the reason that may couples who waited to have sex have more satisfying sex lives is that they waited until they were emotionally connected to their partner. This can make the act even more intimate and satisfying, and help to strengthen their relationship. If you are considering having sex in the early stages of your relationship, the best thing you can do is take a minute to decide if you are really ready to take the next step with your partner.