I get the question all the time: “What am I supposed to talk about during a first date?” I usually respond by saying that what is more important is what you don’t say. Here are a couple of the worst things you can possibly talk about on a first date.
Even the most traditional Latin women that I know are smart enough to know that talking about marriage on a first date is a surefire way to scare your date away. It’s not just women, though—men who approach first dates and disclose that they’re looking to get married come off just as creepily open, creepily aggressive, a mix of both, or just plain creepy in general. I’m not saying that your next first date won’t be the person you marry, I’m just saying that all things happen in due time. Save the marriage talk for some time down the road.
Men and women both are suspect when it comes to this, but don’t ever talk about other dates, past, present, or future, while you’re on your first date. Past dates are none of that other person’s business, and it may turn them away a bit to hear about other men or women and might make you seem unobtainable. This is especially true if you are presently dating around—nothing is more discouraging to hear about on a first date than competition. Last but not least, don’t rush ahead to talk about a future date. It will only kill your chances of ever having one. Wait until at least the next day to propose a second date.
Don’t talk about yours, and don’t ask about theirs. Sure, past relationships have a huge influence on most of our lives, but, like a lot of other things that have affected you in huge ways, they are not something you want to talk about on a first date. The rationale is that if you are truly over your ex, you can resist talking about them for a couple of hours while you pursue other people. Talking about your ex to your date will indicate otherwise. Conversely, talking about your date’s ex may bring up sentiments that they don’t want to revisit. Better to just leave past relationships at home.
Religion & Politics
These fall into the same category because they are so similar. In the Latin dating scene that I’m used to, almost everybody is Catholic, so religion isn’t usually an issue, but politics are a volatile topic. I will agree with those that believe views on these topics can define a person, but you have to remember that you’re not going on a first date to peer into somebody else’s soul—you’re on the date to see if you share common interests and have fun. If you’re interested, you’ll learn about religion and politics on a subsequent date. Until then, avoid heated arguments by straying away from controversial topics.
Talking about the amount of money you have (or don’t have) can be really off-putting to some. Generally you will either sound like you’re trying to play yourself up by equating your own worth to the amount of bills in your wallet, which is shallow and unattractive, or you will sound like you’re complaining about how much money you don’t have, which is equally unattractive. The only time money should come up is when discussing who is going to pay.
Author Bio: Miranda Santiago has a degree in Psychology from Boston College and is now a freelance writer who covers dating topics, appealing specifically to relationships involving Latin women When she isn’t writing about love and everything involved, you can find Miranda windsurfing on the beach, playing the piano, or enjoying a glass of dry red wine.