If you are in a relationship and your significant other has strayed into the arms of another, it’s no surprise that you are feeling betrayed beyond belief—and most likely you are doing everything in your power to keep from winding up in jail or headlining an episode of Jerry Springer.  To avoid such a fate and to handle the difficult situation to the best of your abilities, be sure to check out the following ways for dealing with a cheater:

Take some time.  If you’ve just discovered your partner’s infidelity, most likely you are overwhelmed with a fit of emotions ranging from rage, sadness to more rage.  This is normal, but so that you don’t act out on such intense feelings, be sure to take the time to cool down and get your mind right before you say or do something that you might regret later.  Talk to a friend, go for a walk or just get some space to clear your mind and think about how you are going to confront your partner.

cheatedDon’t blame yourself.  When you’ve been cheated on, rejection and feeling like you aren’t good enough can take over, making it easy to blame yourself.  You look back on what you could’ve done differently and how you could’ve kept your better half from wandering—but what you have to realize is that you are not at fault.  No matter what you did or didn’t do, there is nothing that warrants cheating.  So instead of pointing the finger at yourself, pick up your self-esteem and point your finger in the direction of the person who broke your trust.

Talk to your partner.  Once the dust has settled and you’ve cleared your mind and organized your thoughts, find the time to sit and discuss the situation in a mature fashion.  As difficult as it may be, do your best to keep calm so that you can rationally communicate your feelings, concerns and fears—then decide on the best route to take to move forward.  If you are just confronting the cheater for the first time, he or she might be in denial, try to lie or even try to blame you.  If you know for 100 percent fact that the incident(s) occurred, stay strong and hold your ground.

Move on.  Sure, people can change and promise that cheating will never happen again; but once a partner in a relationship cheats, all trust, honesty and the hope for a healthy relationship are out the window.  After these things are gone, it can be extremely difficult to repair the foundation of your relationship—you will find yourself questioning every little thing your partner does and most often, you won’t be able to look at them the same way.  Do yourself a favor and move on to someone who will treat you how you deserve to be treated and won’t put you through such heartache.   No matter how much you love the person, when it comes down to it there is no excuse for cheating.

This guest post is brought to us by Cindy McDonald, who enjoys writing about dating and relationships.  Cindy also owns Christian Dating Sites where you can find helpful information about online dating for members of the black community.