sweet coupleThere are so many considerations to put into mind if you desire to be in control of the relationship. Although feeling out of control of the relationship is detrimental to the relationship, there are clever ways to take control without battling desperately for it. There are different areas of control that most relationships find themselves in. they include: children, wealth, loss of love, fear, growth and health. However, it is important to know that allowing your significant other to have control makes you to be far more in control than when you are always in control. However, it should be noted that being in control of the relationship does not necessarily mean being in control of the other person.

Types of Control Personalities

Control Oriented

These are the type of people who will always want to be in control of everything. They will always feel out of control when they feel like one aspect is not under their control. Control oriented people are those that are especially known to be desperate especially when they want to be in control of the relationship.


These are the ones who are not very assertive and will always comply with the control oriented. However, on the contrary, they may feel out of control of the relationship, especially if they are always the ones complying when pushed by the other spouse.
How to Regain the Lost Control

Be Control Compliant

Whether you are a control oriented or control compliance person, you should be ready to compromise with your partner from time to time. This means that if you want to be in control of the relationship when you are a control oriented person, you should be willing to give up on control of some domains. Also, if you are the compliant type, you should be assertive at times and be accepted and tolerated for your occasional assertiveness. Therefore, this means that the relationship will be steered by you two without the feelings of being out of control by any party. Each partner should be given a chance to win. It should not always be the case of one partner winning and the other always giving in to the whims of the winning partner.

Accept Influence

Accepting influence especially when you are control oriented is one of the ways to be in control of the relationship. Also, studies have shown that men are more responsive to being influenced by their spouses while women are more compliant to more moderate influence techniques.

Tolerate Your Differences

You should always remember that you cannot agree on all issues. And that means that there is need for tolerating your differences if there are any. One way of tolerating the differences is putting them aside for a while and dealing with them later. If you want to be in control of the relationship, you should realize that differences are inevitable in every relationship. It is how you handle them that determine if your relationship will endure the test of time. However, it is advisable you try to change yourself first before you try to be in control of the relationship.