If you are currently in a relationship where you feel that you are loosing control, you probably realize that the outcome will not be a happy one. It’s not that you have to take over, however you should not be laying down to your partner like a carpet to be walked on. Relationships take effort and compromise by both parties. If this isn’t happening you may have a problem on your hand.

Sure, you could sometimes do things for your partner to make him/her happy, but there needs to be a balance, it can’t be all about one party at the cost of the happiness of the other.

When you and your significant other are going through problems, it is most likely because of an imbalance of control in the relationship. To work through these you need to apply the following:



In order for any relationship to work, communication must be the main focus. Too many times emotions take over, and there is either a great big yelling match with either side listening to the other, or the silent treatment. The silent treatment might be the worst thing to do when you are in an argument because in order to solve any problem, you will have to communicate and open up about how you truly feel about the situation.

Yelling is not the solution either. It can be very tough to open up to each other in a rational manner at time of disagreement, but you will have to lower your pride and make the initiative to talk and open up. Being able to open up and start the communication process will be the first step to regaining control of the relationship.


Once you are able to make him/her talk and start communicating in a rational manner, if you are willing you may be able to understand each other’s side.  You may even find that deep down you both want to achieve the same thing, just your methods may have differed.

Listen deeply for what the argument is really about. It may have all started with something trivial and really it is about something completely different. Men and women are very different and sometimes people need to understand that there will be a lot of misunderstandings and only through communication can this problem be solved.

Be patient

Communicating and understanding can be quite draining and you will need to learn how to stay patient and in the moment. An argument can often take hours maybe even days and you simply do not want it to ruin your day. How often do you see someone sad at work or school just because of an argument with their special someone. This happens too often and it is sad to see relationships end because of a lack of communication, understanding and patience in the relationship. Learn how to be patient and you will definitely be able to balance the control in the relationship.

Being in a healthy relationship does not mean one person has all the control. If you two are able to evenly balance everything in the relationship, you will be able to minimize the amount of arguments in the relationship.