staying friends after divorce

Marriage can be difficult; two people joining forces can seem like such a good idea. But if things don’t go smoothly, and all the arguing and fighting is unavoidable, sometimes the only solution is to get divorced. After all the problems, bitterness, and anger, we usually end up rivals with our ex. But staying friends after divorce doesn’t have to be so taboo.

For some, the best way to get through the divorce is to just move on from the situation. On the other hand, some people hope that they can become friends with an ex again. If there are kids involved, this is especially important. There are ways that you and the ex can become friends after the divorce.

How to stay friends after divorce

Let the Past Go

You are now divorced. What happened is done and over. Don’t hold a grudge with the ex. As hard as it is to deal with the pain of divorce, holding a grudge is worse. Remember, this is a person you used to love at one time. However, what happened in the past is the past. It no longer matters. Being angry and upset will cause you to suffer. If you want to rebuild a relationship with your ex at some point, you must let go of the past.

Let Friends Help Resolve Differences

Sometimes, we can find a good source of help from a mutual friend. This friend needs to be someone who knows both you and your ex well. This way, they know what the two of you went through and can try to ease things for you. Your friend can be a go-between person for you and the ex until you both realize that a friendship can work between you. This is not a chance to get the two of you back together, but to let the both of you have a better friendship and more peaceful environment around each other.

Show the Ex that

You are a Responsible Parent
A good way to have your ex stop being angry and upset at you is to let them see you giving your kids the care and attention needed. If your ex sees that you are being a responsible parent, this could promote nicer behavior toward you. Set rules for yourself to give plenty of time to your children. This will help the entire family move on peacefully. Alternatively, do the same if you witness your ex continuing to be a good and loving parent.

Learn to be Happy Again

Divorce is hard on everyone, especially in the beginning. But once everyone has accepted that the two of you will no longer be a couple, you and your ex can work on being friends again. Sometimes, divorce is telling us to find true happiness. Maybe we chose the wrong person, but now we can have a second chance and still remain friends with our ex.

Give Your Ex Time

If you want peace and friendship between you and the ex, you should be the one to initiate that relationship. If your ex is still mad, do not push reinstating a friendship. This will just end up a disaster. If you get angry that your ex is mad, you will be back at square one. Recognize that everyone heals emotionally at different rates and in different ways. Give your ex some time to accept the divorce, and try to build the friendship slowly.

Remaining friends with your ex can be done. It might take a little time, but it can happen. Once the bitter memories and the pain are gone, a renewed friendship is possible.

This article was written by Greg Hutchinson, a regular contributor on who also gives relationship and dating advice to his friends. He hopes that his articles here will be as helpful to you as they were to his friends. He writes this on behalf of the Hammerle Law Firm, your number one choice when looking for a Plano divorce attorney. When going through this difficult moment in your life, they can make sure you get what you deserve.