Divorce is being painted as the plague of this new generation. A significant percentage of marriages today end in tears, empty wallets and broken families. In conjunction, the number of young people that are opting for a single life or living common law is on the rise.
Despite these preconceived notions about the inevitability of marriage, it is possible to rekindle the romance and stop a divorce. The chances of stopping a divorce will depend on what the cause of the separation is. While there may be a plethora of reasons to split, more often than not broken trust is a predominant one. It’s easy to break your spouse’s trust, and much more challenging to rebuild it.
If you want to regain trust with your partner and save your relationship, here are some factors that you should consider.
In the face of imminent separation is a good time to surrender your emotional self to your spouse. Surrender your anger, resentment, pride and defenses. Realize that this may be your last chance to really listen to the pleas of your partner.
If there are issues that you can address such as things that you’ve been putting off you can be the change in your relationship. Every time that you said “I will” and then never got around to it; you make that “I am”, right now. If you have been neglecting to show your loved one that you truly care, you should change your game immediately.
Hearing the words I love you, I appreciate you, I care, is reassuring and wonderful occasionally. But if you can’t back it up with affirmative actions, those words mean nothing at all. It’s true what they say: “Actions speak louder than words.”
If you have incidentally betrayed their trust, do not deny this. Do not become angry and defensive and try to point out their transgressions against you. Surrender. In the unfortunate case that you have hurt your spouse you must acknowledge it, sincerely apologize and give them space to cool off and think. Time heals all wounds.
During this time you can assess whether the relationship can be mended and forgiveness can prevail.
Invest your energy in scoping out all the relationship help that you can find that is constructive and positive. You may find this with friends that have gone through a similar situation or ones that you trust who can give you an honest third party perspective. You may also find it beneficial to invest in couples counseling.
Restore your relationship.
The emotional upset that ensues during a divorce can spiral into a state of depression that is difficult to escape on your own so therapy may be advisable. It’s crucial to maintain a healthy lifestyle by eating well and exercising regularly to combat the impending sadness. Poor food choices and a sedentary routine can have a negative influence on your mood and psychological health.
A strong and loving support system is imperative to getting through this difficult time, and to stop a divorce